Some are obstetricians, others are pediatricians.

"Some are obstetricians, others are pediatricians." My mom and I were skyping the other night, and after a lengthy conversation, this was my mother's summary.

Some doctors help bring babies into the world, others, like pediatricians, care for them when they are children. There are doctors for adults, and even special doctors for elderly people. Doctors have specialties. They have a field with people that they feel comfortable with. That they are passionate about. That they love taking care of, healing, and interacting with.

This week I have been realizing that this is how it is in God's house. There are those of us who are gifted with and have passion for evangelism, others who love helping new "baby" believers. Others of us are passionate about seeing "older" believers grow and deepen in their relationship with Christ.

It was he [Christ] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up  until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. - Ephesians 4:11-13

It's pretty sweet that God gives us each unique gifts, passions, talents, and desires to create unity and reach the world. All of these things that Christ can call us to are "to prepare God's people for works of service" and for unity in the body. But not all of us are called to be prophets. Not all of us are called to be teachers. But we are all called to obedience, and in that obedience we get to live out who God created us to be.

So, what kind of doctor are you called to be?

"You have a traitor, there"

"'You have a traitor there, Aslan,' said the Witch. Of course everyone present knew that she meant Edmund. But Edmund had got past thinking about himself after all he’d been through and after the talk he’d had that morning. He just went on looking at Aslan. It didn’t seem to matter what the Witch said."

-C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

I just finished this book... and out of the whole thing this is the part that stood out to me the most. It is right after Edmund is rescued from the White Witch and is back with Aslan and his siblings. The White Witch has requested an audience with Aslan to remind him of the Deep Magic, in which every traitor belongs to her and is her prey to kill.

Her words- "You have a traitor there, Aslan" are meant to cut, meant to shame. They are meant to make Edmund squirm and for Aslan and the rest of the good creatures to scorn Edmund. But that doesn't happen. Instead, Edmund just keeps his eyes focused on Aslan, so overtaken by the rescue and his conversation with Aslan afterwards. The Witch tried to shame him, tried to feed him lies about who he was, tried to bring up his past, but it didn't seem to matter. All that mattered to Edmund now was Aslan.

Sound like a familiar scenario? It does to me. I am Edmund! I am that traitor. For all the times that I have seen the movie or heard the story, I have always been the one to scorn Edmund, to shame him. How I hated him! How could he possibly betray Aslan, his siblings, and all things good all for a tin of Turkish Delight and empty promises of power? But I think the reason I hated him so was because I saw some of my own self in him. I saw that I am just as prone to betray, to turn my back on the wonderfulness that is Jesus and all that he has to offer, all for a cheap imitation, a pile of rubbish in comparison. But like Aslan, Jesus gave his life for me so that I could live, so that I could change, and so that I could become a true daughter of the king. And when I see that, it doesn't seem to matter what the Devil says.

Right Now

I know that Jesus loves me, chooses me, and takes delight in me, but I don't know that it is enough to cover me if others don't.

Jesus, sink your love in deep to me, so deep that all my people-pleasing is gone and all that remains is the knowledge of your love.

Only Love Remains

Only Love Remains- JJ Heller

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground

I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

You burn away the ropes that bind

And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth

I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

This is my prayer today Jesus... be gentle as you tear me apart, kill the sin in me, burn it away, until only love remains.  

He's not safe, but He's good

Jesus is SO GOOD! He has been teaching me so much these last couple weeks, revealing Himself in big and little ways, constantly beside me, reminding me that He's got this. Reminding me of His goodness, His power, and most of all, His unimaginable love for me. I love that I get to live in this! That I get to experience His constant reminders. There's a quote about Aslan, the lion from "The Chronicles of Narnia" that I love... "He's not safe, but He's good." How true this is of my God. Over and over again He is good. He's not safe, He's not about me getting my way or being comfortable. But HE IS GOOD.

This semester has been so weird. I'm just seven months from graduating, I think something like 20 weeks of school left in my undergrad career. And it's in these circumstances that I find Jesus changing me, repositioning me, and being Himself... being good. Right as anxiety begins to set in, He snatches it away and replaces it with wisdom and peace. Right as pride starts to creep up, He humbles me and shows me my smallness, my brokenness. And right as despair tries to take hold in my soul, He comes riding in, saving me from my flesh and once again declaring His goodness over me. As I look ahead into this next chapter in my life, all I can say is, He is good.

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
― C.S. Lewis

5 Things Friday- Things that are Taking Up My Time

Things that are Taking Up My Time

1. My online psych class- currently working on going through a 108 slide powerpoint to take a 10 point quiz... really?!?

2. Meeting with lots of lovely ladies- young and old!

3. My tumblr. (Well, not really, I just wanted you to click!)

4. Design. duh. It's my major.

5. Preparing for a new season of Wounded Heart

5 Things Friday- Things that I love about my room

Things that I love about my room

1. Roomie and new lion pillow pet!

2. Reading corner with comfy chair and all the books I could want

3. HUGE TV



4. Comfy cave bed



5. Animal cracker bear... always filled to overflowing


 

*sorry for the low quality pictures... taken in our room at night with the lovely mood lighting- not the greatest for picture-taking!

5 Things Friday- Things that are Overwhelming Me

Things that are Overwhelming Me

1. Meeting and connecting with all my new residents

2. All the activities, meetings, and plans that I have swirling around in my brain

3. The fact that classes start in 3 days, and I'm not even sure that I'm enrolled in the best classes for me

4. My still-full closet

5. The fact that in spite of all of this, God has me, loves me, and is taking care of every detail.

Greater

This morning at church was utterly refreshing. We had a time of praise as we studied Psalm 23 and then responded to God in worship. One of the songs we sang was "Greater" by New Life Worship. We've sang this song countless times before, and I even have it on a playlist on Grooveshark, but I've never really let it sink in until today. It's really quite  simple:

Find rest my soul
Confess you're weary
Surrender all
Embrace your healing

Pre-chorus:
I will cast my cares
For You have always cared

Chorus:
You are greater
Greater than the fight
That rages for my life
I have found my rest is in
You are brighter
Breaking through the night
Lighting up my sight
I have seen my rest is in You

Find hope my soul
You know He's with you
My Savior God
Still I will praise You

Bridge:
His yoke is easy
His burden is light
I have decided
I'm gonna fix my eyes
On the perfecter the author of my faith
Jesus Christ

So simple, yet so profound. He IS greater. Greater than all my stress and worries and responsibilities at this busy time of the year. Greater than any of my fears. Greater than any of my mistakes and sins. But the thing that really hit me is the bridge. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. Do I really believe that? More and more I have been finding myself despairing. I have found myself giving into the stresses of life and getting overwhelmed. But as I sang out this morning, I am going to surrender all, embrace my healing, and cast my cares upon Him. I'm going to find rest and hope for my soul.  I have decided I'm going to fix my eyes on Him who is Greater.

5 Things Friday- Things that are Ridiculous

Things that are Ridiculous

1. The size of Murray rooms... right now it looks like two people are living in here and my roomie doesn't move in til next week.

2. My new RA staff- we have wayyyy too much fun!

3. The fact that I couldn't fit one more shirt in my closet if I wanted to... I think it's time for some fall cleaning.

4. In our "Emergency Procedures Guide" that we get as RAs, there are a number of situations listed, in order of severity. "After Hours Custodial Response Procedure" is immediately followed by "Bomb threats and weapons." They sound pretty similar to me.

5. How sore I am after canoeing for an hour or two yesterday.

5 Things Friday- Things that are Going to Change

Things that are Going to Change [in the upcoming weeks]

1. I will be living with another human being

2. Class all day instead of work all day

3. I will be mother hen to 29 residents :)

4. I will be living in my small-town hall rather than the big-city Towers

5. Official senior status

5 Things Friday- Things that are Making a Difference

Things that are Making a Difference

1. Free Rice

2. CNN Freedom Project

3. Love 146

4. Reject Apathy Magazine

5. Not for Sale

5 Things Friday- Things that are Quotable

Things that are Quotable

1. "I can only be loved to the extent that I am known." - The Me I Want to Be

2. "I cannot stay where I am and go with God." - Experiencing God

3. "Every year you grow, you will find me bigger." -Aslan, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

4. "Relationships are never about power, and one way to avoid the will to hold power over another is to choose to limit oneself- to serve." - The Shack

5. "Do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely, if ever, pictures me [Jesus] there with you?" - The Shack

Flow Blocker: Apathy

When we trust in Him we're free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go. - Ephesians 3:12

Gosh that's hard to remember. And even harder for me to live out. I know that God created me to be a fighter. To go after the things I know are right and true. To seek justice. To live with passion. To speak truth into situations. But sometimes that can be a really scary thing to do.

Because that means that I can't live under fear. And I can't live under apathy. Can I be real with you? Those are two of the biggest things I fight. Apathy hits me hard. Especially if I'm in the middle of something, if I've kind of gotten in the groove. And I think Satan tempts me with apathy because apathy is so opposite of who I'm created to be. The opposite of apathy is flow.

Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity (Wikipedia).

I want flow. I want to be fully immersed, involved, energized, and focused. I know that when I am enabled through the Holy Spirit's power to have flow in my life, I am much more effective in my activities, projects, and relationships. But I cannot be experiencing flow when I am giving into apathy. Apathy blocks me from living the life I know I am supposed to be living, the life I want to be living.

So now for a little dose of truth:

Truth: I get to be whoever God says I am and walk that out however I feel God is telling me to walk that out.

Truth: I cannot live out who God says I am by walking in apathy.

Truth: In order to be who God says I am, I cannot give into apathy, instead I need to be enabled by the Holy Spirit to experience flow in my life.

You might have noticed I kind of skipped over fear. Well, that's for another day. My soul can only take so much life-changing truth at once. :)

In Him

It's bedtime. But I can't seem to drag myself into bed quite yet. Because it has only been a few hours since I stumbled upon this beautiful verse.

For in Him we live and move and have our being.

Acts 17:28a

What could be more simple, straightforward, heart-moving as that? I just can't get over it. God has wrecked me with these simple 11 words. I know I have heard them before- most likely countless times. But this time I paid attention. This time, I heard the question behind the words- "Are you living, moving, and being in ME? Are you recklessly abandoned and completely reliant on ME alone?" As tears streak down my face and I realize that everything I have and do and am is in Him, I pray that there will be less of me and more of Him. That those words would always be on my lips- "less of me, more of YOU." 

5 Things Friday- Things that have made this week awesome

Things that have made this week awesome

1. Garage sale-ing this morning and Savers last night- snagged some great deals!

2. Spending lots of time with VYC people.

3. Slumbie with my future roomie last night- spent lots of time planning out our room!

4. Looking forward to an AWESOME last night of the VYC summer series on Sunday (yeah, I know, technically not THIS week, but I have been looking forward to it!)

5. Making this weekly planner (I've decided the daily one is just too planned out). Here's one without the header.

Life Binder

Happy Saturday!  So on Thursday I shared a lovely little organizational tool. And I told you all about the Life Binder. So here's the promised post showing you how I did it and what's inside. Let's get started. I'm just going to tell you how I did mine, but obviously if you were to make one you can adapt it to whatever you need to help you keep your life organized. Here are the different categories I used:

• Every Day

• God

• Time Management

• Finances

• Fitness

• Organization

• Random

• Recipes

All set up in the cool air-conditioned lounge. Paper, sharpies, cutting utensils, computer for inspiration, water for hydration, friends for company= 4 hours of lovely crafting!

For each section I used a divider ($0.98 for 5 at Wal-Mart) and went to town on it. I used scrapbooking paper, sharpies, and quotes printed from the internet to decorate mine, but you could use whatever you like! And, like I said, I went to town. So mine is all very random and just whatever I was feeling, so if you are more of a type "A" personality with your organization, you could always color coordinate and make all your tabs the same, etc. However I'm more of an organized clutter kinda gal.

In my "Every Day" section I printed off a bunch of the daily sheets,  2 to a page and front to back so that 4 are on one page.

In my "God" section, there are multiple resources. I put scriptures, tips for inductive Bible study, questions for the first couple chapter of John, and other random printouts I have from church, Navs, etc. You could even use this space for journaling or recording prayers or doing a Bible Study you print out. However, all that stuff is in my journal and elsewhere for me.

You can find schedules galore in my "Time Management" section. I have my class schedule for next semester, schedules for VYC this summer, as well as my weekly calendar.

My "Financial" section is filled with charts waiting to be filled out. Mine are pretty simple- "date, what purchased, store, and amount."

In my "Fitness" section I have put a couple different exercises and workouts to try as well as lists and printouts of healthy foods, snacks, etc. I plan on making a workout log as well.

My "Organization" section contains a couple printouts of organizational tips. One that I especially like that has helped me purge my room a bit, which you can find here.

Everyone needs a "Random" section for those pieces of paper that you just really want to keep but that don't really fit anywhere else!

I don't have any recipes in my "Recipes" section yet, however I do have a cool kitchen conversions chart as well as grocery lists.

So here's the whole thing, tabs and all! I'm considering making a couple more categories, just for fun! I also need to make the cover as well.

5 Things Friday- Things I am thankful for

Things I am thankful for

1. Renewed (or maybe just NEW) passion for RAing this next year

2. Honest friends who will tell me my shorts look like mom shorts and that I should thus get rid of them

 3. Fun Friday at work= free lunch from our boss

4. Face time I will get with my parents this weekend

5. All the amazing VYC interns I have had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know this summer

Confession

I have a confession.
I'm really bad at managing my time. But in the last 24 hours I may have become obsessed with organization and time management. I just never knew it could be this fun! It all started when I stumbled across this little beut:

{click for printable version}

Be still, my heart.

So, after my breathing finally returned to normal, my brain started working. And I decided that it was about time that I had a Life Binder. Yup. I think I just made that up.

So here's the deal. I can be REALLY good at wasting time. Like, trophy-winning good. Yet I desire to give my time fully to the Lord and let Him shape it into what He wants it to look like. I want to use the time He has given me learning and growing and loving. I want to be productive and faithful to the responsibilities He has entrusted to me, while still having time to seek Him and love others. And it just so happens that He has wired my brain in a way that works really well with little lists like the one above. There's just something inside of me that says "yes!" to lists and jumps with joy when those lists are pretty.

Enter the Life Binder. The culmination of lists, recipes, charts, notes, goals, and everything important that can be put on paper. Where creativity and productivity collide. The thing that just might start my school year off right, so maybe I'll have one less time-wasting trophy in the case. Or maybe I'm just being idealistic. But hey! It's been fun to make, and there's always the off-chance it will stick. So, have I wetted your appetite to see what's inside this baby? Perfect. Come back in a few days. :)

A work in progress

"Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert."

Isaiah 43:18-19

I am in a constant state of being sanctified, changed, taught, and molded. Praise the Lord that He loves me too much to keep me where I am. Now, I just need to remember to not dwell on the former things and instead focus on what He is doing in my life now, how he is bringing forth a new thing.

5 Things Friday- Things that make me want to scream, etc.

Things that make me want to scream, cry, punch something, shake someone, pray, and DO something

1. There are an estimated 100,000- 300,000 children sex slaves in the US.

2.  Within the first 48 hours of being on the street, one in three children are lured into prostitution.

3. The average age of entry into U.S. sex trafficking for girls and boys ranges from 11-14.

4. Pimps commonly sell minor girls for $400 an hour on America's streets.

5. In many states, victims of child sex trafficking get arrested rather than their pimps and johns ("customers"). Seriously?

*Statistics taken from Reject Apathy magazine

Tutorial: Making an Envelope Book

Happy Thursday! It's almost the weekend... which means you may have a little more time on your hands! So, if you find yourself bored this weekend, wondering what you can do to fill your time, I have just the thing for you! We're going to make a book out of envelopes! Ready?

HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL NEED.

• Envelopes


• Hole Punch


• Binder Rings

ONE.

First, you need to figure out how many envelopes you want... you may use as many or few as you like, and remember- you can always add more! You need to arrange your envelopes so that the openings will be the outside edge of your pages. I alternated my envelopes so that I had facing opening pages (i.e. the backs of the envelopes) and facing closed pages (i.e. the fronts of the envelopes). However, you can arrange them how ever you like.

TWO.

Now you are ready to punch holes in your envelopes. I just punched the holes in one envelope, then used that as a stencil for all the other envelopes so that I was sure they would line up.

 THREE.

After all your holes are punched, connect all the envelopes using the binder rings.

FOUR.

Now comes the fun part! Let your creativity run wild and decorate the envelopes! Use colored pencils, markers, or crayons. Write quotes or verses. Use stickers, scrapbooking pieces, torn out magazines, or photos to add another dimension. The sky is the limit. You can also put things inside your envelopes- whether they be prayers, letters, memories, photos, or lists!

DO IT.

You can make a book for virtually anything- a recipe book, scrapbook, journal, or gift for someone. I decided to make a prayer book, so my envelopes are decorated and filled with verses, prayers, quotes, and song lyrics as well as doodles and drawings. I mainly used sharpies and a little bit of collage.

TAKE A LOOK.

Hannah's Pasta Salad

So I'm a college kid. Living on a college campus. During the summer when there's no cafeteria to feed me. So I really like cheap, easy, fast recipes. Delicious and nutritious doesn't hurt either. So, when I saw my friend eating this little beaut, I demanded she tell me the recipe. So now here I have it for all you fine people. Enjoy.

Hannah's Pasta Salad

• Pasta


• Italian Salad Dressing


• Any delicious mix-ins you want! (I used carrots, sugar snap peas, and cheese)

WOW! Only three ingredients?!?! That's right! (Well, technically 5) And a big batch of this could easily be made for a couple bucks... cha-ching! That's the sound of money in the bank!

So boil your pasta (duh). Cool. Add mix-ins to and dressing to taste.

DONE.

Early Mornings

So last night was the first in a four-week series that will be happening this summer at VYC. It was sooo great to get to see everyone from youth group again and just be able to re-connect. And one of my favorite parts of the night is usually at the end, after all the plans and activities are over. It's when I get a little bit of face-to-face time with a girl or two. When I get to listen and talk and pray and just walk alongside them.

And last night was a particularly good conversation. Because normally when this young lady and I talk, we just end up kinda going in circles. It seems we are often going through the same things in our relationship with Christ, which is good, but can also be difficult. It's like we're both in a pit at the same time and can't get out or even see anything above... it would be so much more helpful if one of us was at the top of the pit offering a hand up! But that's not how it's been, so we normally just ask each other a lot of questions and don't come up with a whole lotta answers.

We've both been frustrated with how we live our lives vs. how we know how our lives could be. We've struggled through praying and being in the word with our short attention spans and constant distractions. We yearn for deep intimacy with Christ while striving to figure out how to get it. So last night I decided that I'd had enough of talking in circles and questions with no answers. I proposed one week of spending at least 2 hours with Jesus in the morning.

So this morning my alarm went off at 6 am. And wow am I not a morning person. So my first two hours went a little like this:

Do my Experiencing God study. Get distracted by my toenail. Clip it. Read the Bible. My finger hurts. What is that? A sliver? Oh... back to reading. I'm hungry. Ok let's journal now. Put the date... 7/11. OH! It's my friend's birthday. Well that's distracting. Text them to get it off my mind. Continue journaling. Wow I'm really hungry. Get a bagel from the fridge, toast it, and lather on some good ol' cream cheese. Back to Jesus. Attempt a "Pray for an Hour" little hand-out I have. 15 minutes later apparently my eyes think it's nap time. Shake myself awake, go to the bathroom to wash my face in hopes that will wake me up. Come back. Finish praying. DONE.

Wow. It was a little hectic to say the least. I find myself getting so distracted, and then getting frustrated with myself when I do! But then after all this, I had a bit of time after getting ready for work, so I read a bit of a "The Me I Want to Be" by John Ortberg... and it was talking about just that! Ortberg suggested that instead of getting frustrated, you use them as prayers!

 "I used to think of those kind of thoughts [distractions, worries, etc.] as obstacles to prayer, but I have come to think of them as prayers waiting to be offered. Maybe the reason they pop into my mind is not simply my short attention span, but rather what my mind is really concerned about. Instead of trying to suppress these thoughts, it is better to begin to talk to God about them."

So I will be applying this new-found theory to my date with Jesus tomorrow. And I will also will be going to bed earlier.

Hurting

I miss Romania so much right now, it physically hurts. I want so badly to go back and hold the kids. To get to stumble around with my limited Romanian vocab, trying to express how I feel about them. How God feels about them. I want to cuddle and play and laugh and sing. I want to comfort them when they cry because the older kids were beating them up. I want to make goofy faces with them over and over again as they fight for use of a camera. I want to chase after them after they've thrown snow in my face. I want to get my butt beat in soccer as they all laugh because I can barely kick the ball. I want to see them running down the lane to greet us with hugs and kisses as our van pulls up to the orphanage.

I just want to be there. But that's not happening right now. So I just go back and I read. And I remember. And I pray for the little ones I grew to love, the big ones I grew to respect. I pray for their future and their present. And I pray that maybe our paths will cross again this side of Heaven.



 

5 Things Friday- Things that make me smile

Things that make me smile

1. The FINAL Harry Potter comes out in ONE week! (And we watched the Live Premiere yesterday at work.)

2.  Reading great blogs (check out this one.)

3. AWESOME Old Navy Sale tomorrow... going with my boss and work buddies.

 4. VYC Summer Kickoff tonight!

5. It's Friday!

Aslan

Sometimes I like to think of God (or Jesus)  as Aslan.

He's mighty, powerful, loving, forgiving. He's a conqueror, a protector, a warrior. He brings peace, order, joy, and life. He fights for me. He sacrificed His very life for me. Sometimes I tremble in His presence, and other times I just wanna give Him a great big hug. Yup. Sounds like Aslan to me.

5 Things Friday- Decisions you can make to make-over your time.

Decisions you can make to make-over your time.

1. Unplug your cable cord.

2. When tempted to surf the internet mindlessly (Facebook, tv shows, etc.), find websites that bring you life. Research organizations or causes that you are interested in, or find a site with encouraging messages, videos, and articles. My fav is http://www.setapartgirl.com/ (online magazine and other resources from Leslie Ludy).

3. Wake up a little earlier to spend time with God to start off your day.

4. Choose to fill your brain with good books and conversations rather than staring at a computer/tv screen for hours.

5. Find ways to get yourself motivated. Maybe you're a list person. Maybe you need to be more active. Whatever gets you motivated to get things done and kills apathy, do it!



 

Where do you spend the best hours of your day?

What do you go to for rest, enjoyment, and pleasure?

Are there things in your life you can't imagine giving up?

Holy Counterculture

"Let's be a holy counterculture."

-Shane Claiborne

A counterculture is a cultural group that runs counter to those in the social mainstream. To those in the world. But living as a holy counterculture is a choice we have to make.

Being a part of a counterculture isn't an easy thing. We get ridiculed, questioned, and looked down upon. Our plans are seen as impractical. Because our plans are formed by a God who isn't limited by human practicality. We get to be divine troublemakers, just like Jesus. We fight for the poor, the hungry, the sick. We become a part of God's redemptive plan for the world. We do things because it's what we were made for. We find our identity in our Father. We remember who we are. We realize that our view of God is one of the most important things about us. So we search after that. We seek Christ with all we are. We are empowered to live a holy life because of God's grace. We live by the spirit by understanding who we are. By learning how God views us. We have discipline in the ordinary, day-to-day life so that we can have courage in the extraordinary days. We seek out God's dream for our lives. We ask God what He wants us to do, then we join Him on His mission.

Living as a holy counterculture is not normal. It's not our flesh's first desire. It's not easy when others aren't doing the same. But that's why it's a counterculture. That's what Jesus has called us to. It's a lot of obedience, but also a lot of intimacy. Intimacy with our Savior, our Creator. And when I remember that the God of Ages delights in me, oh it just becomes so much clearer. It becomes a relationship, a precious calling, rather than a bunch of rules. It becomes a privilege, not an obligation. It becomes my desire.

Let's be a holy counterculture.

[These are just some of the ideas I took away from Desperation Conference]

5 Things Friday- Things that are on the Horizon

Things that are on the Horizon

1. DESPERATION CONFERENCE! (June 20-25)

2. Going to the cities to see my cousin play basketball (THIS weekend!)

3. VYC Summer Series Kickoff (July 10)

4. My future roomie getting back to the US (July 16)

5. Block Family Reunion (August)

Heather Who? Part II

So I wrote a post awhile back about old Heather and new Heather. And it seems that this needs to be re-visited.

Because apparently new Heather comes out to play only when she feels comfortable to do so. In big groups, old Heather stifles new Heather. She doesn't let her talk. She gives into torment. She believes that she doesn't have anything to offer. I've realized that nearing the end of this last semester, old Heather was doing this more and more frequently. Overpowering new Heather. Sure, new Heather would come out at Valleybrook, VYC, and Navs, but she was letting old Heather get the best of her when it came time for school, work, or RAing. I didn't realize until a conversation I had yesterday that because of the way I was living out those areas of my life, I was really letting old Heather live them out.

I would see the mandatory, more mundane activities of life and label them as less important than the things that I am passionate about. But really, God wants my best in everything, He wants new Heather, real Heather, Heather He created me to be, to flourish in every aspect of my life, not just the things I'm passionate about. He wants me to be who I was created to be at school, work, and as an RA. He wants the same passion and drive that I put into my "more important" activities to be the same for those activities that I deem less important. Because the truth of the situation is that He has put me here. He has put me in school, as an RA, and at work to be who He created me to be to all the people I come in contact with.

God wants me to be someone very specific. And I know some of that picture. Not the whole thing. He is always revealing more of who he wants me to be. And my part in this is just to obey. To say "yes" to Jesus when he gives the simple call- "Follow me."

Are there areas of your life that you deem less important, and thus aren't living out who you are meant to be?

Passion

...or at the very least, boring.

5 Things Friday- Repurposing for jewelry organization

Repurposing for jewelry organization

1.Use an old rake to hang necklaces



2. Organize small pieces of jewelry in an ice cube tray



3. Use a pegboard and hooks to hang jewelry



4.Hang earrings from an old painted cheese grater



5. Place antique bowls and teacups in a drawer as a replacement for more boring drawer dividers

Soulcare

So I don't know about you, but I'm weird. I have a different way of relating, a different way of learning, growing, and seeking than anyone else I know. Which is really exciting. Because it means I get to relate to, learn from, grow with, and seek God in a way that is entirely my own. I get to experiment with how I connect with God. How I hear from Him. How I respond in worship to Him.

It means I don't have to stick to a strict formula. I don't have to do x, y, and z for so many a minutes a day in order to grow closer to my God. I get to do what works for me, what draws me close to Him, what feeds my soul. I get to try on new and different approaches to relating to God, because honestly I have been following a formula for far to long. It means I get to make mistakes in the whole process, changing and adapting as I find the things that work for me. I get to let go of all my expectations that I have for my relationship with God and just explore.

Seeking

Seeking God is hard. I'm not very good at it, especially for specific things. My mind is wild. All the time. There's like a hundred and ten things going on in there at once. My attention span is the same length as a 5-year-old boy's in a Catholic mass. My ability to sit still is even worse. So when it comes to being still and knowing God is God, there are some issues. I like to fill the silence. I like to blabber. I like to repeat myself, if it means that I won't have to do nothing. These lyrics sum it up pretty good:

I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time

-Addison Road, What do I Know of Holy?

 I think it might be time for a little vacation with God. Or at least some extended time to be still and rest and seek Him. At least enough time to stop talking. Stop planning. Stop being overwhelmed by the one hundred and ten things going on in my brain.

 

Joy

What brings you joy in life? Are you doing it?

5 Things Friday- Books I want to read this summer

Books I want to read this summer

1. The Me I want to Be by John Ortberg (working on it now- SO GREAT!)

2. The Shack by William P. Young (re-read)

3. Sacred Singleness by Leslie Ludy

4. Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst

5. Radical by David Platt (need to finish this one)

Ask, Seek, Knock.

Today was the first day of training for the VYC Internship I am a part of this summer. And it was a pretty paradigm-shifting day. The topic was the Spirit-Filled Life. We talked about the Holy Spirit. How to receive Him (repent and be baptized. Acts 2:38-39), the fruits He nurtures in our lives (love, joy peace, patience, etc. Galatians 5:22-25), and the gifts that He gives us (words of wisdom, teaching, prophecy, encouraging, etc. Romans 12:4-8, 1 Corinthians 12:28-31, & Ephesians 4:11-15).

So when I say paradigm-shifting, I mean it really changed the way I think about a lot of things. One of the big themes we really dove into was the idea of asking, seeking, and knocking. Now, I had definitely heard the verses in Luke where Jesus tells the parable of the man knocking on his friend's door at midnight (Luke 11:5-13). It is only because of his persistence that the friend finally gets up, answers the door, and gives his friend what he needs. However, I had never really looked at the context of this parable. In the following verses, Jesus goes on to say that whoever asks, it shall be given to him, whoever seeks will find, and whoever knocks, it will be open to him. But asks for what, exactly? Verse 13 says "how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

So this whole time, I have been using the "ask, seek, knock" concept for everything else in my life, BUT the Holy Spirit! I ask God for money for school. I seek to know God's will for my life. I knock, wanting to know when the next big thing in life is going to happen. These are not bad things. But I am not asking, seeking, and knocking for the Holy Spirit. I am not desperately pounding on the door, asking for my life to produce other-centeredness, patience, and self-control. I am not seeking, as for hidden treasure, what gifts God has for me and how He wants me to use them to bring glory to Him.

Enter 30 days of intentional asking, seeking, and knocking. Thirty days where I am going to be searching out the Holy Spirit and having Him truly flow through me. Thirty days of surrendering to Him, allowing Him to produce fruit in me and use me in whatever capacity and through whatever gifts He chooses to give to me. And hopefully, this thirty days will turn into a lifetime of complete surrender and abandonment to the Holy Spirit in my life.

So as a little reminder of this, I took the chair arm that I got from the old seats in Valleybrook as a souvenir, and made it into a token of remembrance.

Now is RIGHT on Time

So true. It can be so incredibly easy to look back on our journey and say "I wish...." or "If only..." or "What if..." But those things didn't happen. Things hardly ever happen the way we had planned. But then, that's why God's ways are higher than mine and his thoughts higher than my thoughts. That's why He's God, and I am Heather. Because even when things don't turn out the way I had planned, He uses them to draw me closer to Him, to shape me, to change me, to mold me. I just need to be patient, be still, and know that He is God.