Saturday, November 12, 2011

"You have a traitor, there"

"'You have a traitor there, Aslan,' said the Witch. Of course everyone present knew that she meant Edmund. But Edmund had got past thinking about himself after all he’d been through and after the talk he’d had that morning. He just went on looking at Aslan. It didn’t seem to matter what the Witch said."

-C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

I just finished this book... and out of the whole thing this is the part that stood out to me the most. It is right after Edmund is rescued from the White Witch and is back with Aslan and his siblings. The White Witch has requested an audience with Aslan to remind him of the Deep Magic, in which every traitor belongs to her and is her prey to kill.

Her words- "You have a traitor there, Aslan" are meant to cut, meant to shame. They are meant to make Edmund squirm and for Aslan and the rest of the good creatures to scorn Edmund. But that doesn't happen. Instead, Edmund just keeps his eyes focused on Aslan, so overtaken by the rescue and his conversation with Aslan afterwards. The Witch tried to shame him, tried to feed him lies about who he was, tried to bring up his past, but it didn't seem to matter. All that mattered to Edmund now was Aslan.

Sound like a familiar scenario? It does to me. I am Edmund! I am that traitor. For all the times that I have seen the movie or heard the story, I have always been the one to scorn Edmund, to shame him. How I hated him! How could he possibly betray Aslan, his siblings, and all things good all for a tin of Turkish Delight and empty promises of power? But I think the reason I hated him so was because I saw some of my own self in him. I saw that I am just as prone to betray, to turn my back on the wonderfulness that is Jesus and all that he has to offer, all for a cheap imitation, a pile of rubbish in comparison. But like Aslan, Jesus gave his life for me so that I could live, so that I could change, and so that I could become a true daughter of the king. And when I see that, it doesn't seem to matter what the Devil says.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Right Now

I know that Jesus loves me, chooses me, and takes delight in me, but I don't know that it is enough to cover me if others don't.

Jesus, sink your love in deep to me, so deep that all my people-pleasing is gone and all that remains is the knowledge of your love.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Only Love Remains

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground

I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth

I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

This is my prayer today Jesus... be gentle as you tear me apart, kill the sin in me, burn it away, until only love remains.  

Friday, November 4, 2011

He's not safe, but He's good

Jesus is SO GOOD! He has been teaching me so much these last couple weeks, revealing Himself in big and little ways, constantly beside me, reminding me that He's got this. Reminding me of His goodness, His power, and most of all, His unimaginable love for me. I love that I get to live in this! That I get to experience His constant reminders. There's a quote about Aslan, the lion from "The Chronicles of Narnia" that I love... "He's not safe, but He's good." How true this is of my God. Over and over again He is good. He's not safe, He's not about me getting my way or being comfortable. But HE IS GOOD.

This semester has been so weird. I'm just seven months from graduating, I think something like 20 weeks of school left in my undergrad career. And it's in these circumstances that I find Jesus changing me, repositioning me, and being Himself... being good. Right as anxiety begins to set in, He snatches it away and replaces it with wisdom and peace. Right as pride starts to creep up, He humbles me and shows me my smallness, my brokenness. And right as despair tries to take hold in my soul, He comes riding in, saving me from my flesh and once again declaring His goodness over me. As I look ahead into this next chapter in my life, all I can say is, He is good.
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
― C.S. Lewis
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