A few months ago I spent some time over at
resolved2worship. I was immensely encouraged and challenged by this blog... reading about Alyssa and her husband's real-life love story
here. [Warning- it's LONG- as in 12-parts-plus-some long, but oh so wonderful!]
The story speaks of trust, fear of man, parenting, faith, communication, believing lies, hearing from God, keeping Christ at the center, God's love, and ultimately His redemption and sovereignty. It includes lots and lots of pain, but also so much beauty in the restoration that Jesus brings to their family [they have 8 adorable kiddos, by the way].
So after reading the story in its entirety, I wanted to share some of the wisdom about marriage, relationships, and life that I took away from it [all that follows is written by Alyssa from
resolved2worship.]
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The number one purpose of marriage is to conform us into the image of Christ.
What is the image of Christ? I think it can best be summed up in three words: unconditional love, mercy, and grace.
So the questions are. . .
- "How would you ever learn unconditional love if you married someone who met all of your "conditions?"
- "How would you ever learn mercy if you were married to someone who never sinned against you?"
- "How would you ever learn grace if you were married to someone who was always deserving of all good things?"
Because God's greatest desire for a couple, and in marriage, is not compatibility or like-mindedness or perfect one-ness. His greatest desire is that we be conformed to the image of Christ. We are conformed to His image not by living with a perfectly compatible, unfailing, deserving mate. We are conformed to His image by being married to an incompatible, failing, undeserving mate.
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It is really okay if your heart gets involved and then God sends red flags and tells you to turn around, or cut it off. It might be very hard, and it might be painful. God tells us there could be heart break in relationships. So trying to avoid heart break in a [relationship] can be trying to play God.
God's Word says trials build us. If you go through a difficult, heart breaking relationship, that is God's love for you. Let it take you to the cross, grow you up and prepare you for the relationship that does end in marriage.
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You want a guy who pulls you closer to Jesus, not a guy who just pulls out the flesh in you. Ask yourself when you're with a guy, "Do I grow in my walk with God when I'm with him, or is it all just fleshly attraction? Does this guy pull Christ out of me, or pull out my flesh?
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The best preparation for marriage? The best "system?"
Real and deep communion with Jesus Christ that penetrates past all externals - a relationship with Him that is greater than any fluffy methods promising less broken hearts and more physical "purity." If you are in real communion with Jesus Christ, it's a relationship that cuts deep to the heart, where true purity either is, or isn't.
