Hurting

I miss Romania so much right now, it physically hurts. I want so badly to go back and hold the kids. To get to stumble around with my limited Romanian vocab, trying to express how I feel about them. How God feels about them. I want to cuddle and play and laugh and sing. I want to comfort them when they cry because the older kids were beating them up. I want to make goofy faces with them over and over again as they fight for use of a camera. I want to chase after them after they've thrown snow in my face. I want to get my butt beat in soccer as they all laugh because I can barely kick the ball. I want to see them running down the lane to greet us with hugs and kisses as our van pulls up to the orphanage.

I just want to be there. But that's not happening right now. So I just go back and I read. And I remember. And I pray for the little ones I grew to love, the big ones I grew to respect. I pray for their future and their present. And I pray that maybe our paths will cross again this side of Heaven.