The Painful Best

“We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be” —C.S. Lewis

Control. It's freaking hard. Most of the time I don't even realize when it's rearing it's ugly head. Most of the time I think I'm being a responsible adult and planning ahead and having my ducks in a row. But usually it all boils down to wanting to be in control of "my" life.

And then I get reminded. Reminded that it's not really my life after all. Because when it doesn't work, when there really is no way that I can be in control, I start to leak [check out this sweet post by a lovely lady about when your eyes leak]. I come apart at the seams and start to crumble. Honestly, you might even be able to call it a temper tantrum (I bet my mom would never believe that... ha!). 

Because when I'm reaching for control, I'm really just wanting things to go my way. I'm wanting things to be easy and smooth and not cause a lot of ripples. I want what I want. Mature, I know.

But thankfully I have a God who loves me too much to let me stay where I am, and a man who likes to partner with God in that daunting totally doable task. And honestly, I think God gets a little chuckle out of my tantrums when I can't control things. I think that every once in awhile He chooses to put things in my life that I have absolutely no control over so that I can be [once again] reminded who's really in control of this life I am living. So that I can be reminded to trust Him, the only one who knows what the future holds. 

And yeah, that future might be difficult and ripply, and even painful, but at least it will be for my best.
[Photo via Pinterest, design mine.]