It's OK to Not Know What You Want to Be When You Grow Up

I never thought I'd be sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day doing Graphic Design again. Not after two summers of mindless computer-staring at my university job. The job that undoubtedly helped me get through school with less debt, introduced me to incredible people, and had it's own handbag of perks.

But after those two summers and 5 semesters of being a Graphic Designer and 4 years of studying it, I didn't really think I'd do it again (ironic, eh?). But here I am again, doing design for a church, this time, instead of a university, but design nonetheless. A job that I am so incredibly grateful to have, a job where I have met amazing people, a job that has connected the hubs and I to an amazing church family. But still, I don't see myself here for years on end.

So I find myself a bit distracted—one minute I'm all researching what it would take to be a home-stager and looking into Interior Design programs, and the next minute I'm making grandiose plans to go to grad school for counseling. And then the next minute everything seems too hard or expensive so I just sit there. I feel like a little bit of a mess.

But I guess it all boils down to the fact that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

And that's OK.

Yeah, I have lots of things I really enjoy, but none of them seem viable for a career. So I sit and I stare at a computer screen for 8 hours a day because that is where God currently has me. I sit there and work to further His kingdom in the way, time, and place that He has me. He's writing my story, and although I wouldn't have imagined me back here, He knew all along. That's why after my 2 years on staff with The Navigators He began to stir my heart again for this thing called Graphic Design, even when I had basically sworn it off 2 years previous [did I mention you have to stare at a screen for 8 hours a day?!]. He began to bring back my desire and drive for this profession. And I know He did it for a reason. If even for the people we've met because of this opportunity.

But you know what else? You know what keeps me going besides the fact that I know that God has me right where He wants me? It's a job. And I think sometimes we (especially my generation) can put too much weight on doing what you L.O.V.E. for your profession. Don't get me wrong—I think that's awesome if you've found your passion and profession in one place. But I don't think it happens all the time to everyone for their whole life. Maybe it takes years of trying out different things. Maybe it requires going back to school. Maybe you find it for a bit but then it slips away for awhile. Maybe it never really happens to you.

But there is still room to be faithful and a hard worker and happy with your work situation, even if it isn't your dream. Even if you said you would never do it and yet there you find yourself. Even if you are searching and dreaming and wondering if there's something out there that would suit you better. Because true joy doesn't come from our day job. True joy comes from full life in Jesus. And we can have full life in Him regardless of our jobs.

We can be faithful and go to work with a good attitude, knowing that we can serve our bosses, love our co-workers, and shine Jesus in our work place. Plus, God is the best networker I know and he can pull strings like a boss. ;) So we don't have to give in to anxiety over what's next, if we're feeling like 'here' isn't forever.

And even if we don't know what we want to be when we grow up, that's OK. Because God is writing our story and HE knows what we're going to be when we grow up. And He has placed us where we are now to be there and shine Him.

P.S. I really liked this quote from a Relevant article on chasing your dreams— "Just like we're being transformed into God's image in steps—from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18)—we don't achieve the dream God's given us all at once." Now if only I could find that dream... but that's for another day I suppose.