Lessons Learned From A Weekend We Didn't Expect

This past weekend, our plans were to drive to Milwaukee for a wedding and then come back on Sunday. But, just in case you didn't check Facebook this weekend, here's a little recap of the super great weekend we ended up having:

So to sum up, we drove 4 hours, broke down, spent 4 hours at a tiny gas station trying to get a tow (thus missing the wedding), spent 40 more hours in Wisconsin waiting for our car to get fixed, found out it was a problem too big [read:expensive] to fix, rented a car, and drove 4 hours back home. Awesome. Weekend. As Bri says, it would have saved a lot of time and money if we would have just gone outside on Saturday, set his car on fire, and then gone back inside. Touché. 

However, that is not what happened, so therefore we now have this story to tell. This story that includes tears (I held it together pretty well most of the time), gas station food, an hour and a half of being on hold with Discover, sitting in a cold car while one of my dear friends walked down the aisle, losing a beloved car, missing plans with good friends, and renting a car 2 weeks before we both turn 25 (ergh!). 

But it's also a story that includes the sovereignty of our God. Our car stopped running literally a block away from a gas station (rather than the highway), the gas station attendant was super helpful and nice (even when we were basically loitering in his store for 4 hours), our friends came and saved us with their AAA (and let us crash at their place all weekend), and so many other small (and big) blessings along the way. 

So here are a few lessons we learned from our little adventure:

1. Hold your expectations loosely. I titled this post "Lessons Learned From A Weekend We Didn't Expect" because that's exactly what this past weekend was... something we didn't expect. It was a disappointment in many ways and didn't go at all how we planned. But the situation only got more frustrating as I tried to hold on to my expectations with all my might. As I felt like I had a right to the plans we had made, the disappointment only grew more strong. But when I started to let go of those plans and embrace the direction God had us on, my attitude changed drastically and I was able to enjoy the moments that were joyful.

2. Focus on the positive. Be thankful. As you can tell from my two lists above—one filled with all the sad, bad, and mad things we had to deal with, and the other filled with all the graces we encountered throughout the ordeal—perspective can really change a situation. As much as we wanted to wallow in the suckiness that was our weekend, both Bri and I made it a point to try and dwell on the positive things that were happening and be thankful for how God was so plainly providing for us. And when we did? It made all the difference.

3. Have a sense of humor. Don't take things too seriously. Be against the problem, not each other. It was really easy to get wound up in this stressful, time-sensitive situation, and then take that out on each other. But after awhile, I think we both realized that it wasn't the end of the world, and that if we had a sense of humor about it, everything would feel much less heavy. I joked that this weekend was a test of our marriage and we passed, but really, it was a test of how well we handle stress and "emergency" situations. 

Bonus Lesson: Emergency funds are good. This whole situation is SO much less stressful since we aren't freaking out about finances. For now, we've decided to try out the whole one-car family deal, and so far the first couple days have gone well! But we are aware that we will probably want to replace that car eventually (maybe before next winter), and it's so nice to not have to wonder where it's coming from. Thanks Dave Ramsey!

So hopefully you had a less disastrous weekend then we did, and can instead learn these lessons second-hand. You're welcome. :)

Guest Post: The Fate of the Orphan

Editor's Note: Today I have a wonderful post for you written by my very new sister-in-law, Lana! Lana is passionate about orphan care and has gone on multiple trips to India to work with an orphanage there. She just got back from a trip to Mexico where she was better trained and equipped to love on these little ones—the least of these. Lana is sassy and always has a good come-back, but she is also caring and has a huge heart. I have so enjoyed getting to know Lana better over the last year or so—from sleeping in a twin bed when we first met, to thrifting and fighting over who gets the cute dress, I really do feel like she's a sister! Let's just say, I'll be one sad girl if God calls Lana to India long-term... Illinois is MUCH closer!

The Fate of the Orphan

A young girl taps at my arm, pleading with me to look her way. Without looking, I know her brightly colored dress is heavily worn and covered with dirt from life on the street. 

My eyes never shift from their forward gaze. She is persistent. Her dull brown eyes pierce through her unkept hair; locked on my face, searching for the slightest twitch or reaction. 

I know I cannot waver from my stone-like stature. 

//photo via Lana Douglas, 1987 Photography

This girl is most likely not begging for herself, but rather is forced to by her “owner” – for all intensive purposes, a pimp. Any money I give to her will only support his greed and cause more children to befall her dire fate. 

The seconds crawl by like hours. She continues to tap my elbow, motioning to her mouth to indicate that she is hungry and needs food.

Still, I do not flinch. Inside my resolve is crumbling. 

She is not just a faceless child as my exterior suggests. She is my sister, my daughter, the lost sheep, the innocent left unprotected.

With each touch of her tiny hand my heart fractures a little more – hers is the fate of the orphan.

At her final plea with no change in the indifferent statue, she moves on to the next rickshaw; hoping to pay her employer for what should have been freely provided. The moment she is out of reach the statue falls away.

I did not give her anything, but she still walked away with a part of my soul.