I'm registering for classes. And it's hard. And my head hurts from putting together so many different combinations of classes. And tonight I will probably be dreaming of Mon/Wed/Fri 2-2:50, GE IV D, and Upper Level requirements.
I kind of put myself in a really bad place with my classes. Long story short, I didn't sign up early enough for them so I am now on three waiting lists, hoping against hope that I get into at least ONE of the three studios that I need to graduate. I REALLY don't want to take all three my last semester of school.
And all this is making me unusually stressed out. I'm worried. What if I don't graduate on time? What if I have to spend extra time and money on summer or winter courses? What if I have to give up my freedom and take classes at really weird hours? What if I don't have time in my schedule to spend time with the precious high schoolers that I've begun to care so much about at Valleybrook?
So here's where trust comes in (and the therapeutic-ness of this post). Because I get to remind myself of my God. And who He is. He is good. He is sovereign. He is the master planner and His ways are higher than mine. Without Him I am not good. I am not sovereign. And I most definitely am not the master planner (in fact, I'm rather bad at decision-making). So, what do I do with this truth? I sit in it. I sit in it real long and good and I know it. I see it as truth and I see all the worries and doubts for what they are... pride. Pride in thinking that my ways are higher than His ways. Pride in thinking He isn't really sovereign or good. Pride reeks. And I don't want it in my life. So do I know the truth? The truth that my God is bigger than all my problems, no matter how big or small. The truth that He's got it covered. That I don't have to hold onto my pride and worry. That He sent His son to free me of that. Do I know it?
Fred, Thanks for sharing your heart...I was so blessed to read it...blessed at many levels... 1) I see myself in what you wrote...like you, I too see pride in my worry and fretting and my unbelief in our Father's goodness, greatness and glory; 2) I see Jesus in what you wrote..., Jesus' invitation to both of us to rest, wait, call on and ask/seek/knock, confidently expect His every good answer to our every need; 3) I see Jesus in you...awesome. I love you and am always proud (this is godly pride) of you...as Jesus our Groom forms His image & likeness in you and does all through His amazing grace. So I look forward to what He does in/through this.
ReplyDelete