Rest

This morning I was looking through my huge stack of papers and packets that I have procured over the last couple months of being on EDGE Corps... there's the packet on dealing with conflict, the endless Bible Study charts, the printouts for our women's study, and then I stumbled across what I was looking for: a little packet that we received at our regional staff meeting back in the beginning of October. The title across the top reads "Rest: Fatigued, Frazzled, Fried, or Flourishing." Our lovely friend Marilyn gave this talk at the meeting, and I was looking for this packet for my mom, who had asked for it awhile back after I had told her about it.

But isn't it funny how when you are looking for answers for someone else, you often find them for yourself? I turned to the second page and was just glancing over my notes, when I came across this little gem:

God calls me to be faithful, not spectacular.

I had written this under "The Seduction of Leadership" as a reason that we don't rest. And this quote was starred:

It is possible to gain the world of ministry success and lose your own soul in the midst of it all... there is a real tension between what the human soul needs in order to be truly well and what life in leadership encourages and even requires. -- Ruth Haley Barton

Wow. How I needed to hear this at this exact moment. As I feel the pulls of ministry, I must remember that God doesn't need me, He lets me. I will have to disappoint people. I cannot be intoxicated by the demand for me. I need to rest. Really rest. Not sit-and-watch-tv-rest. Not endlessly-scroll-through-facebook-rest. I need to surrender-control-rest. I need to be-still-and-know-rest. I need to sit-at-His-feet-rest. And when I do that, I will be faithful. Which is what He calls me to be.