One Year Staycation

Yesterday marked one year of being married to Loverboy. 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, one year. And it feels like just yesterday that we were standing at the altar, shivering as we read each other our vows on that chilly but beautifully bright day.

We had gone back and forth on how we wanted to spend our first anniversary, with thoughts of a nearby Bed & Breakfast or AirBnB. We even tossed around the idea of going to NYC or Washington D.C. for the weekend when Frontier flights were so cheap. But we eventually landed on staying home and enjoying a relaxing staycation. And I am SO glad that we did! We had just come off a series of busy out-of-town weekends, and staying home was just what we needed! So here's a glimpse at what we did, along with our recommendations for your very own staycation!

Friday night we enjoyed sushi happy hour at Wakame Sushi & Asian Bistro. This is the best sushi happy hour in the Cities, in my humble opinion. The selection is amazing, the atmosphere warm, and the prices affordable. We especially loved the Tootsie Roll (the middle crispy-looking roll in the middle of the plate).

After happy hour we headed to the Minneapolis Institute of Art (MIA). We enjoyed perusing through the maze of paintings, sculptures, artifacts, and other pieces of art. Since it was a Friday night, there were only a few other people there, so it felt like we had the place to ourselves! Saturday morning we slept in and then headed to Colossal Cafe in St. Paul for a crazy-filling brunch. We shared the Spinach Artichoke Feta Frittata and the Apple Walnut Brie Flappers. Both dishes were amazing and we got out of there in under $20! Score!

After brunch we headed to the Science Museum. It was a blast watching Brian get into all the experiments and explain the science behind each one to me. The museum is currently switching their special exhibits and the omnitheatre was also closed, so we had yet another place mostly to ourselves. It was nice to enjoy the museum without the crowds. 

Sunday we went to Fogo de Chao for lunch, which was something that Brian was really looking forward to. Seeing as I'm not the biggest fan of meat, a Brazilian steakhouse wasn't quite as exciting to me, but the sides and salad bar were amazing! We did some shopping around Downtown and Uptown, then headed to a park to toss around some styrofoam airplanes I got at the Dollar Tree. We spent the rest of Sunday relaxing and going in and out of food comas. :) The weekend was the perfect mix of delicious food, relaxation, and exploration. We both got to experience new things and still enjoy our tried and true favorites. So there you have it! Some amazing restaurants to try out, as well as a couple museums that are fun to peruse through.Happy one year, babe. It's been an awesome adventure, and I'm excited to see what year two brings!

Two Years Ago Today [On Taking Risks]

Two years ago today, a very nervous, very sweaty Loverboy asked me to go steady with him (well, those might not have been his exact words, but I'm allowed a bit of creative license, right?).

I remember feeling nervous, and a little sweaty myself (it WAS in the middle of July), and very unsure about this whole getting serious thing. But I also remember that I had just recently had a talk with a friend that if Brian would want to make our friendship more of a "relationship," that even if I wasn't sure, I would still say yes, just to give it a chance. I would say yes to see where it went, because I sure didn't want to regret saying no later and never knowing what could have been.

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And I can say that 8 1/2 months of dating, 5 1/2 months of engagement, and 10 months of marriage later, I am SO glad that I said yes! I am so glad that I went out on a ledge and jumped, even when I wasn't 100% sure. I'm so glad that I tried something that was scary and unknown. I'm so glad that I took a risk.

Because yes, we could have totally not worked out, and that could have been heartbreaking. We could have awkwardly broken up two weeks later and had to go through the whole tell your friends and answer uncomfortable questions phase. We could have, but we didn't. And we would have never known if Loverboy hadn't taken the risk to ask, and if I hadn't taken the risk to say yes.

Now you may get the idea that this post is all about how you should go ask that girl out, or always say yes to some relationship proposal. But that is NOT the point of this post. (Phew!) The point is this—risks are so worth it. Because in the end, whether things end up like you hoped they would or not, you have learned something. You have relied on God as the only one who knows how this whole thing was going to end up, and your faith will be strengthened because of it.

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So what risk can you take today? This week? This year? What is something that is a little outside of your comfort zone, that you aren't 100% sure about, that could end up awfully—but could also end of wonderfully—that you could do?

"To risk is to willingly place your life in the hand of an unseen God and an unknown future, then to watch him come through. He starts to get real when you live like that." —Jennie Allen's professor, from her book Anything.

So go out there and take a risk today. Who knows, it may lead you to a spouse who is altogether more than you dreamed of. ;)

6 Months

Six wonderful beautiful months with Loverboy today. Time to break out the wedding cake from the freezer! [Just say NO to freezer-burned year-old cake!] This month of marriage has been a whirlwind! It started out with a bit of a trial in missing a dear friend's wedding due to a dead car, but has been filled with SO many good things—a marriage retreat, both our birthdays, family in town, lots of fun dates, and a Pentatonix Concert! We've definitely grown in our knowledge of each other this month, and have gotten sweet glimpses of the Lord working as well. 

So to celebrate these 6 months of marriage, I want to share a couple of my favorite quotes on marriage by Tim Keller, from his book The Meaning of Marriage.

“The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will really transform us.”

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.”

“Within this Christian vision of marriage, here's what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say, "I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, 'I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!” 

My Husband Is The Best [5 Months]

My husband is the best. No, seriously. He loves me in ways that no other human being ever will be able to. I mean, the man has to live with me 24/7 for the rest of his life. 24/7, you guys. [Those of you who have lived with me for any amount of time know how daunting of a task that is.]

But he really is the best. He warms up the sheets for me before I get in bed. He turns the heat up for me before I wake up. He makes me popcorn—the good way—whenever I want it. He cleans my hair out of the shower drain (bless him). He touches the raw meat. And he does all this because he loves me and knows it will bless me.

But he also reminds me to pray. He asks me hard questions. He calls me out when my sassiness is approaching meanness. He challenges me. And he does all this because he loves me and knows it will bless me.

This month has been pretty normal-life-busy. Nothing too extraordinary. Which makes me even more thankful for these little things that are actually really big things that my BEST husband does to bless my heart.

So thank you, boo, for being you. [A little bit o' cheese for your Valentine's weekend!]

Weekend Wrap-Up

Happy Friday friends! I don't know about you, but this week has felt long around here. I'm looking forward to a mentoring coffee tomorrow morning followed by another bachelorette party tomorrow night! Two of my dearest friends are getting married a week apart next month and the celebrations are flowing! I couldn't be happier for them and cannot wait for them to experience married life!

Do you have any fun plans for the weekend? Here are a few things I found on the interwebs this week. Enjoy!

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1// I found this article on 'The 36 Questions That Lead to Love' quite interesting. I'm secretly hoping to talk through a few of them with Loverboy tonight. There's always room to know more about the one that you already love!

2// I can't wait to try these copycat Trader Joe's "Gone Bananas!" I discovered these gems while babysitting and we got a couple boxes last time we were at TJ and they are so delightful! Unfortunately the store was out of the kind of coconut oil I needed yesterday, so it will have to wait until another trip.

3// This post on the 'Top 10 Ways to Make a Marriage Retreat Meaningful' will be very helpful as Loverboy and I look forward to our #keepthelovealive weekends [you can read more about when we went to Stillwater here]. Out first trip wasn't super intentional, but really good to have some time away with just us. But I am looking forward to some more intentional weekends in the future... and we are going to an actual marriage retreat next month in Red Wing that I am super pumped about!

4// One of my lovely friends, Andra is co-owner of With Grace and Gold, a business that "creates purposeful and authentic branding for small businesses." [They are super awesome, so ya'll should go see what they're all about!] Anyway, I love that they recently posted about ways to balance your time online (read: SOCIAL MEDIA!) and gave a couple of suggestions of websites/apps to control and track how much time you are spending on sites. Check it out!

Four Months

After three months of doing these monthly marriage posts, I have to say, they've accidentally become somewhat of a tradition and something that I look forward to every month. Taking a moment to look back on the previous 30 days to remember and be grateful. It's kinda nice.

So this fourth month of marriage started out with a night's stay at a B&B in Stillwater, MN. Which was sooooo wonderful and came at the perfect time right as Loverboy and I were both feeling a lot of job stress. We have been strongly encouraged by multiple different people to take a little getaway 2–4 times a year... just some time for the two of us to be intentional, reconnect, get away from all the hubbub of life, and work on our marriage.

This first trip was pretty chill and we didn't have a ton of super intense marriage building time, but just to get away and have fun together was so great. We stayed at the Ann Bean Mansion, dined at Marx Fusion Bistro, and got a private tour at the Warden's House Museum. We highly recommend all of those experiences! Also, I am officially dubbing these getaways as #keepthelovealive weekends. Just because hashtags are #ridiculous, but I still #lovethem.

Ann Bean Mansion

Marx Fusion Bistro

Warden's House Museum Tour

Other highlights included a small group Christmas party, finally getting my name put on our Wells Fargo account, tons of Christmas celebrations, a fancy dinner with friends, lots of good family time (especially with some sibs), the beginning of what I hope to be a decluttering trend for the year, an epic date night at Dave & Busters, trivia with the neighbor, and quite a few new recipes.

This was a pretty sweet month of lots of time together, learning how to spend lots of time together without getting on each other's nerves (ha!), dreaming of the future and asking God how he wants to use us, and learning more about communication and openness. All good things. Not all easy, but definitely good. :)

I love you hubs and am so grateful for another month together. You've got my heart, boi.

Three Months

Today I have been married to my Mr. for three months. A quarter of a year. And so far, it's been the best quarter of a year of my life! I'm waiting for that "the first year is the hardest" saying to kick in... but until it does, I'm just going to enjoy this little thing we've got going and continue to thank God for all he's given me.

This month has marked a lot of big milestones in our marriage.

I officially (and finally!) became Mrs. Heather Douglas to the government. Lemme tell ya'... if you're going to stand in line at the Social Security office in mid-teen weather a half an hour before they open, please for all that is good in the world, make sure you're standing in the right line. Not speaking from experience or anything.

Loverboy and I became members at our church. Putting down roots, getting involved, finding a family. These are good things, people.

We experienced our first nights apart—three in one week—one while Loverboy was in NY for business, and the other two when he went hunting with a friend in WI.

We had our first Thanksgiving as a married couple! We made mashed potatoes and stuffing for the Block Thanksgiving, and let's just say that we got a major stamp of approval from the grandma. :)

We got our first Christmas tree and decorated our place for Christmas as well as started an Advent tradition. Three cheers for family traditions! And the holidays! (duh.)

It's been a full, wonderful, busy, beautiful month. And tomorrow we head off on a little getaway that involves a mansion, some fine dining, tours of old houses, and breakfast in bed on Monday instead of going to work. Yep, I think the 4th month of marriage might be the best yet! :)

Best & Worst [Marriage Edition]

So a little over a year ago I wrote this post titled Best and Worst. It was based off this quote—"I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both," and was all about how we are called to love people in view of their flaws and shortcomings.

I wrote that post after being in my first real adult relationship for exactly six weeks and one day. And I didn't even know the half of it.

Because this first real adult relationship continued on for a year and 3 months to where I stand today and it has changed me.

When I wrote that post a couple months of marriage, 5 1/2 months of engagement, and 8 months of dating ago, the hubs really didn't know my best and worst, and I didn't know his. We were brand new to this whole relationship thing, plus we were long distance and had probably barely even spent much time together as a couple.

But I still loved this picture, this idea, of being loved and chosen by someone who knows your best and your worst. I mean, who wouldn't love that? Besides, of course, that it's terrifying to think of someone knowing you that well.



I loved it, but I didn't really know it. And although today I know it so much better than I did on that warm day in August, I know that I still don't even know the half of it. Because yeah, I've seen more of his best and worst, and you better believe he's seen more of mine (heavier on the worst), but I'm certain we still haven't seen it all. I'm certain that over the next weeks, months, and years more bests and worsts will come out, and ultimately, more bests and worsts will be born. Because this relationship, it's changing us.

So yes, I understand more deeply what it means to be known and loved. And it's a beautiful, sweet thing. It's a thing that wells up gratefulness in me. It leads me to worship my Savior who does it completely and perfectly and who also has gifted me with an imperfect but wonderful earthly expression of this knowing and loving.

But I also know that my understanding is so minuscule, so minute, compared to the grand scheme of it all. Because every day that I am on this earth my husband gets to see a little bit more of my best and worst, and he gets to continue to choose me, to choose both. And I get to do the same with him and we get to both experience this knowing and loving from the One who does it wholly and without reserve, Jesus.

And it's a really good thing that we have a perfect example to follow. Because this knowing and loving thing, it's hard. But it's so, so worth it.

//photos via Availeth Photography

Grateful [Two Months]

It's November! [Yeah, Heather, we know... it has been for the last two weeks...] Which means that all things social media are oozing with posts and photos about what people are thankful for. So I thought today that I would jump on the bandwagon.

Today I am oh so very thankful for another month of life as the wife of Loverboy. I can't believe today marks two months of marriage for us, but as I reflect on the last month [you can read about our first month here], I can't help but be grateful.

We've hosted our small group for pumpkin carving, gone on the best double date ever (Nickelodeon Universe, anyone??), gone through the membership process for church, traveled to Nebraska for an early Thanksgiving, hung out with our neighbors, spent time with family, visited Eau Claire and spent a roaring time with a precious family, had people over for meals, and gone on multiple dates. Life is so full of so many good things.

But life isn't all daisies and butterflies. This last month has also included difficult conversations, annoying paperwork and phone calls in attempts to make our two lives one, disagreements, and just general learning to live together as husband and wife.

And through it all God has been so good. Through the sweet times and the hard times this month, God has been faithful in giving us grace for each other and teaching us how to love. One thing I know, the sweet times would not be so sweet and the hard times would be far harder without the loving grace of God to guide us and the stellar example of Jesus that we get to look to.

So although today I am oh so very thankful for this union with this boy, I am more thankful for the One who brought us together, wrote our story, and sustains us everyday. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Also, we're getting super good at taking selfies.

Love & Hate

I don't really want to write this post, because I'm not really ready to live it out just yet... but I thought someone else besides me would maybe need a good kick in the pants today.

This morning I stumbled upon this article from Desiring God by Francis Chan, Marriage on the Edge of Eternity. I started reading it, began to feel convicted, and willed my eyes to keep reading, my brain to keep processing. [And yes, you have to read it too, if you want any of what follows to make an iota of sense. Married or not, it applies to all of life and is definitely worth a read.]

So, after reading this pants-kicking article, I did what I usually do in these cases and e-mailed it on to the hubs. [He says he appreciates this, which I just want to bless his soul for, because sharing information is one of my love languages I think.] So I sent him the link along with the following comment...

I both love and hate this... love because I know it's true and what we should be aiming for, hate because it means it's gonna be hard and we have to give up stuff I want. Love because it's the highest calling we could ever have, hate because I just don't feel like I'm at the point of really wanting it yet. Love because I know it will be more fulfilling than anything else in life, hate because it doesn't seem fulfilling right now. Love because it means obeying Jesus, hate because it means denying my flesh. Ugh.

And he replied, in quick, Loverboy fashion...

Preach it!  It's never easy to do what God wants us to do. It's easiest to be selfish. It's hard to obey and enter the battle. Let's pray for Christ to change our desires. Let's pray for boldness and courage to join the battle. Thanks for the article! I love you babe!

And then I melted inside a little bit because that's the best response ever. Of course he points us to prayer (like he does all. the. time. Seriously, if ever one of us suggests we go to God in prayer for an issue, it is like 95% of the time him. Thanks, God, for this man who likes to come to you, and drag take me along with him).

So all that to say, I both love and hate the idea of being in a war. But I guess in the long run, it doesn't really matter, since reality is that we are in one. My spirit's desires are so different than my fleshly ones, and really that's a war in itself—to have the spirit win out. But so often I follow my fleshly desires and I give in to that idea that Chan puts so perfectly—"You have contractors installing better windows so you can tune out all of the noise."

I pray that I don't live my life like that—ignoring the noise of the battle outside my windows. I want to engage in the battle, but it's never as simple as that, because like I said, I both love and hate this idea. Oh Jesus, please change my desires.

Let me end this with the ending of Chan's article (because, let's be honest, it's far better than anything I could leave you with).

"Being in war together may be what keeps us from being at war with each other. Rather than neglecting the battle to work on your marriage, maybe the best thing for your marriage is to enter the battlefield together."

//photos via Availeth Photography

5 Tips for Planning a Wedding [on a budget, in a time-crunch, or otherwise]

Loverboy and I were engaged for 5 1/2 months, which in some circles is pretty average, or even plenty of time, but in many other circles it's short. And we were certainly on a "tighter-than-average" budget. So I feel like I'm at least a little bit qualified to write on the subject of planning a wedding... on a budget, in a time-crunch, or otherwise. Here are 5 lessons I learned while planning mine.



1. To-do lists are your friend.
And that being said, Google Docs is your friend. [I ranted about it here.] But seriously, wedding planning would have been a billion times harder without shared docs. Thank you google. Right away I made a to-do list for every month, and as the wedding approached I started doing weekly to-do lists, and finally in the last week or two I made daily to-do lists. This helped my brain soooo much in that I get super distracted when there's a lot to get done. However, with my time-specific to-do lists, I had just a few things to focus on at a time. In my book, to-do lists are a MUST for wedding planning, which might be obvious, but doing it in time increments was really helpful for us.





2. Stick within a budget.
There are three main ways we stuck within our budget. All we did was borrow, cheat, and skip. Let me explain ...

Borrow. HUGE shout-out to all the amazing friends who lent us decorations for the wedding! We might not have had this wedding if it wasn't for your generosity! [Well, we would have had it, it just wouldn't have been as pretty!] So, moral of the story, be one of the last of your friends to get married so you can borrow their table cloths, jars, lanterns, candle holders, cake cutters, banners, etc! ;)

Cheat. We actually got quite a few of our decorations at the Dollar Tree! Who knew, right?? Well, now I guess the whole world does, but before that.... Anyways, we got our silver trays and gold frames for all a buck a pop! Does my heart good! We also got glow sticks in the dollar section at Michaels and all the white milk glass vases were thrifted for 50 cents to $1.50 each. Cha-ching!

Skip. There were a lot of things on my Pinterest board that were oh so darling, but I ended up deciding they would just take too much time or too much money. So instead of focusing on the cute things I wasn't able to do, I focused on the fun things I was! I capitalized on projects that were quick, simple, and cheap. My favorite.

3. Have a wedding coordinator.
The pastor we met with for premarital counseling could not stress it enough. And now that I'm an experienced married woman (ha!) I can't either! Our wedding coordinator was a friend from my post-college stint with the Navs, who also made our incredible cake and cupcakes (she's superwoman, I'm tellin' ya!). It was super magical not having to deal with problems or questions on the day-of and she also helped me think through tons of details in the planning process! The only qualifications she had was that she has been married before, attended and been in multiple weddings, helped another friend plan hers, and is super duper organized, efficient, and has an awesome take-charge way about her. So if you have a friend in your life like that, I'd say swipe her up for your wedding coordinator before someone else does! [But P.S. make sure she is honored in the role, not used!]

4. Don't sweat the small stuff.
This goes right along with my "skip" rule of sticking within a budget. Spending my time and energy on those simpler, big-impact items, like our ribbon backdrop and quote pallet was one of the best choices I made. Sure, I didn't really know how the centerpieces would turn out until we got to the barn the day before. BUT, I did know that I had a bunch of cute stuff that I liked and so I didn't sweat it. I knew it would turn out. Also, most people don't remember if your napkins perfectly matched your color scheme or if each vase had the same amount of flowers.

5. Do what you want.
Ultimately, it's your guys' day. Don't do something (or not do something) because of what someone else thinks. Yeah, having Mexican food at a barn wedding is kinda quirky... but guess what? Everyone loved it! If you feel like you really want something in your ceremony or reception that might not be the "norm," I say go for it! It's your one and only day to celebrate this union with all your friends and family, so why not make it memorable and special and oh-so-very-YOU!

And remember, it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.

//photos via Availeth Photography

One Month

Remember back when I wrote that post about one month until marriage? Well I don't know how we got here, but today I get to write about one month of marriage! Here are some of the highlights from the last month! [or maybe just the things we decided to snap pics of...]

1// Friday night fun=Phase 10! I won't say who won... but let's just say that there's a reason he's covering his face. :)

2// I still do a double-take every time I walk past my new name on my cubicle.

3// One night after work we spent some time at Minnehaha Falls—checking out the Sea Salt Eatery and exploring the park.

4// There's some progress on the puzzle that our family hid all the pieces everywhere in our apartment while we were on our honeymoon. We're still missing quite a few edge pieces... if you're ever at our place, anyone who finds an edge piece gets a prize!

5// Another Friday night fun... epic blanket fort! What you can't see is that it even includes the TV in there... best way to watch Parks and Rec ever!

6// Now that I'm not needing to fit into a wedding dress anymore, I've been enjoying donut days at work much more. :)

7// My morning view... that boy LOVES his coffee!

And as a bonus... last night we went on a long walk around the neighborhood. It was SUCH a beautiful evening and was so fun to look at all the cute NE houses. But the best part?? ....

THIS DOG! Oh man, it totally jumped on the fence and sat there for forever, just watching us walk by. It was like a perched bird. Weirdest dog ever. I kind of want it.

Well, that's about it... one month of marriage summed up in photos. Obviously there's all the normal life living in-between, but I'd say this month has been pretty darn beautiful. I love this man who I've attached myself to, and I hope we get to experience lots more card playing, blanket-fort building, and weird dog admiring in the years to come!