Giving: When It's From Daddy

So a few months back I wrote a post about giving. I made the observation that I felt that God had really been revealing a lot to me about giving leading up to my EDGE Corps experience and in the first few weeks of raising support. And He never stopped teaching me things. I know that this summer I learned so much about having a giving heart, learning both from my donors, as well as through the Word. But somewhere between the middle of August and now, I started to forget some of these things.

I started to believe that what I had was mine, and I didn't want to share. I started to see my possessions  money, and time as things that I had worked hard for, so why should someone else benefit from them?

Yes. I know. Even after a summer of seeing God provide BIG time. Even after so many people sacrificing and generously giving to me. Even after living with some of the most giving people I know. I sure can be daft sometimes.

Orrrr, I'm just human. And it takes me more than once to learn a lesson. So let's just say that this last week at church really struck me hard. The sermon's topic: Greed. Ohhh boy. Just to give you a tidbit, one line that has stuck with me is this: "Being stingy can just be a cover-up for greed." Yikes. But the real lesson I took away from it was this:

That which I feel my father has provided for me, I can give freely. That which I feel I have provided for myself, I will have a tight grip on.

Let me break it down for you:

My pastor told how he had bought his daughter an MP3 player when she was younger and filled it with  a bunch of Christian music. After a few days he noticed that he hadn't seen the MP3 player in awhile and asked his daughter about it. She explained that she had met a girl on the bus who didn't have an MP3 player, or even any Christian music for that matter, so she gave it to the girl. Similar scenarios happened a few times after this, where the dad would buy her a new MP3 player and she would inevitably end up giving it to someone less fortunate than herself. Finally, when the daughter was old enough to pay for her own MP3 player, she kept it, and still has it to this day. Once she spent her hard-earned money on it, she wasn't as generous with it.

This is how it so often is with us [well, with me anyway]! If I see what I have- possessions, money, time, as coming from my daddy- God, I can live open-handedly with it. I can give freely. It is only when I start believing that I have provided and worked for what I have, when I forget that all I have is a gift from God, that greed starts to creep in. And I know that's not the way I want to live. I want to live generously. I want to live with open hands and an open heart. I want to live like Jesus lived.

Weight of Glory

Part of our job in EDGE Corps includes going through a curriculum, and one of the first things we were assigned was to read "The Weight of Glory" by C.S. Lewis. This guy pretty much blows my mind anytime I read anything by him, but with a title like that I knew this one was going to be extra explosive to my brain. 

And it was. But the part that really grabbed me, that wouldn't let go of its firm grasp, wasn't actually the main point. It was a small section a couple pages in, that spoke of nostalgia.

Lewis rips wide the secret that each of us has a deep desire for our own far-off country... "the secret which hurts so much that you take your revenge on it by calling it names like Nostalgia and Romanticism and Adolescence." This secret yearning, it is so intense, that we "betray ourselves like lovers at the mention of a name" when any mention of this desire arises.

But Lewis goes on to explain that we have never actually experienced this in our reality, and that when we get "nostalgic" about certain moments in our past, we would not find the actual thing itself, but rather only the reminder of it:

"The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust in them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things-- the beauty, the memory of our own past-- are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers."

This "thing itself," ultimately, is the desire for heaven in each of us, the desire for our proper place, our home. And when we get a glimpse, a tiny sliver of a reflection of this place, we become shy and awkward and desirous and worshippers. Our minds can barely wrap around it, so we belittle it to a memory. A moment. A smell. A tune. But it isn't really any of these that we long for, it is heaven. Eternity placed in our heart.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 

- Ecclesiastes 3:11

Sometimes I feel like God must have placed an extra scoop of eternity into my heart, the desire for it is so strong. I always used to consider myself as one of the most nostalgic people I know. Now I know that I'm just longing for my true home, and trying to label it something else, trying to make sense of it with my human mind. No more will I turn these nostalgic memories into "dumb idols" that will just break my heart. I will go to God with them, and acknowledge that I am longing for Him, and that He alone can satisfy my deep yearnings.

It's the Little Things

I've been moved into my current home for a week and a half now... and I'm loving it! My room feels so homey, and I've been realizing that it's the culmination of so many "little things." You know, the little touches that you might not notice at first glance, but when there are many of them together all in one room it just seems to fit. So I thought I'd share with you all some of my favorite little things in my room. Enjoy! :)

Staff Say What?

We thought we would give you a glimpse into our lovely staff! Here's 7 of the 8 of us (Jess, our campus director's wife is missing) at our staff bonding day last week.

KC, HB, and Allysha, who was on EDGE Corps last year and is starting her first year as a staff in training! We are sure to get lots of great wisdom from her as we begin our time as new EDGErs.

We feel BLESSED to have such a great team as we start off the year! God is good!

P.S. Just as a reminder, we both still have great needs financially as we head onto campus and prepare to minister to the students. You can join our team by following one of the links to the right under 'Get Involved!'. Thank you for your prayers and support! 

Little Steps

A couple years back I went to Romania over Christmas break and worked in some orphanages. I (being me) kept a blog for that adventure as well, and recently went back and read some of my earliest posts about fundraising.

It is humorous for me to read my Junior self talking about having to raise $2800 and how much of a daunting task that was. God was SO preparing me for this time in life where I am asked to raise more than 10 times that much! It is so neat to see how I was learning little steps of trust and seeing God provide, to see how I watched my percentage slowly rise and actually get to 100%.

It's funny how God works, uses events in our past to teach us and prepare us for the present. How He is using today to prepare us for tomorrow. As I look back on my fundraising past, I remember having to raise a few hundred for a trip to NYC, then around $1000 for Mexico, then the daunting $2800 for Romania... and how all the while God was just building up my trust, showing me that He could and would provide, no matter the amount.

And now I get to see Him show up again, only this time it's magnified beyond all my past experiences. God is so good! How precious that He wants so badly for me to know this lesson, this idea of absolute and total trust and dependence on Him, that He patiently teaches it to me over and over again! In the past it has been little steps, but as I am learning and growing, He is asking me to take leaps and bounds, and all the while trust Him.

[In case you're curious, this post was a good reminder about the need for people to send, and this one was fun to read as I can relate to it now, but just at a much higher level!]

Freedom Friday: Krochet Kids Intl.

Like crocheted hats, headbands, sunglasses cases, and even bow-ties? Check out Krochet Kids International... they empower people to rise above poverty by:

• Creating sustainable economic development programs that support holistic growth of individuals and communities within developing nations.
• Inspiring the knowledge of a generation about their ability to bring change to a world that is in need.

Check it out! 

REcover//REstyle

This weekend I got to feeling a little crafty. A little fabric and Mod Podge always solves that, right? :) So I went down to the craft shelves in the basement and scrounged up some scrap fabric and Mod Podge, grabbed my Bible and an old office chair, and got to work! [Sorry for the poor photo quality of my phone as well as the lack of before/process pics!]

To cover my Bible, I simply painted a medium layer of Mod Podge onto the cover and placed the fabric over that, wrapping the fabric around the edges and cutting out spaces for the binding and elastic band to still fit around the book. Easy peasy!

To cover the chair, I unscrewed the back and just placed the fabric around the old stuff, taped it in the back (shhhh, don't tell anyone!) and then screwed the back back on. For the seat portion, there was a way on the bottom of the chair to loosen the cushion, so I simply loosened it and tucked the fabric underneath then tightened it. I LOVE a sewing-free project! :)

Both pieces got NEW life from these simple improvements. Plus, my Bible's spine was falling apart and this solved that problem, while enhancing the beauty of it as well! Hope you are inspired to go recover and restyle something of your own! Happy crafting!