Giving: When It's From Daddy

So a few months back I wrote a post about giving. I made the observation that I felt that God had really been revealing a lot to me about giving leading up to my EDGE Corps experience and in the first few weeks of raising support. And He never stopped teaching me things. I know that this summer I learned so much about having a giving heart, learning both from my donors, as well as through the Word. But somewhere between the middle of August and now, I started to forget some of these things.

I started to believe that what I had was mine, and I didn't want to share. I started to see my possessions  money, and time as things that I had worked hard for, so why should someone else benefit from them?

Yes. I know. Even after a summer of seeing God provide BIG time. Even after so many people sacrificing and generously giving to me. Even after living with some of the most giving people I know. I sure can be daft sometimes.

Orrrr, I'm just human. And it takes me more than once to learn a lesson. So let's just say that this last week at church really struck me hard. The sermon's topic: Greed. Ohhh boy. Just to give you a tidbit, one line that has stuck with me is this: "Being stingy can just be a cover-up for greed." Yikes. But the real lesson I took away from it was this:

That which I feel my father has provided for me, I can give freely. That which I feel I have provided for myself, I will have a tight grip on.

Let me break it down for you:

My pastor told how he had bought his daughter an MP3 player when she was younger and filled it with  a bunch of Christian music. After a few days he noticed that he hadn't seen the MP3 player in awhile and asked his daughter about it. She explained that she had met a girl on the bus who didn't have an MP3 player, or even any Christian music for that matter, so she gave it to the girl. Similar scenarios happened a few times after this, where the dad would buy her a new MP3 player and she would inevitably end up giving it to someone less fortunate than herself. Finally, when the daughter was old enough to pay for her own MP3 player, she kept it, and still has it to this day. Once she spent her hard-earned money on it, she wasn't as generous with it.

This is how it so often is with us [well, with me anyway]! If I see what I have- possessions, money, time, as coming from my daddy- God, I can live open-handedly with it. I can give freely. It is only when I start believing that I have provided and worked for what I have, when I forget that all I have is a gift from God, that greed starts to creep in. And I know that's not the way I want to live. I want to live generously. I want to live with open hands and an open heart. I want to live like Jesus lived.

Any and Every Circumstance

So I haven't really talked a whole lot about raising support this summer. I've been kind of private about it, keeping to myself as I process through what God is doing, and how and why and when. It has been a journey for certain, and far different than I pictured it being from the get-go.

But when people do ask me about my summer, I often respond with something along the lines of, "raising support is weird." I don't have set hours. I don't get in my car, go to work from 9-5, and come home to relax. I don't know what a day or a week or a month will look like until it gets here.

I'm a pattern person. I like predictability and rhythm in my schedule. So this was tricky. I hated looking at an empty calendar with no appointments. I could barely stand the thought of another unstructured day. But God used it. I learned to manage my time. To take initiative. To have time to worship, work and play. I learned that I LOVED talking to people, casting vision for what God can and will do, sharing my passions and burdens. I learned that hearing about peoples' lives was far more than just work, it was loving them and seeing them where they are at, their hurts and joys alike. I learned that God works through and despite my blunders and shortcomings.

This summer has proven a teacher of many things. The question rings over and over- "Can you trust Me in times of plenty and in times of want? Can you trust Me when funds are coming in and you are optimistic and people are responding well? Can you trust Me when you haven't received a check in weeks, when you are feeling down-trodden and people are disinterested?"

Paul writes in Philippians 4:

I am three days away from my goal to be 75% funded. August 15th. I am currently 61%. GOD is my strength. Whether I'm in the ups of raising support or the downs. Whether I am fully funded, or not. I have found the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, God is my strength!