On Dreams & Fear

//via

Dreaming is scary. (The awake kind of dreaming about the future and your hopes and goals... although sleeping dreaming can also be scary! But I'm here to talk about the awake kind.) I guess the actual dreaming itself isn't too bad. In fact, that part is kind of fun! It's the acting on those dreams that involves risk, putting yourself out there, and the possibility of failure. Taking steps to make your dreams a reality is the real scary part. It's the part that induces fear and worry and anxiety. Because what if your dream doesn't work? What if people think it's silly? What if you fall flat on your face?

But, as my husband so gently reminded me last night, if you don't try, you'll never know. If you don't take those scary steps, don't risk a little, you'll never know if that dream could be a reality. And that's almost more scary than the fear of failure.

I don't want to look back on my life with a bunch of "what ifs." I don't want to have to wonder if things could have been different if only I had tried, if only I had risked. I want to put the work into acting on my dreams, and if I fall flat on my face, so be it. And yeah, there may not be a complete lack of fear, but who ever said there was anything wrong with just doing it afraid?

And after all, fear is just a lie.

It's OK to Not Know What You Want to Be When You Grow Up

I never thought I'd be sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day doing Graphic Design again. Not after two summers of mindless computer-staring at my university job. The job that undoubtedly helped me get through school with less debt, introduced me to incredible people, and had it's own handbag of perks.

But after those two summers and 5 semesters of being a Graphic Designer and 4 years of studying it, I didn't really think I'd do it again (ironic, eh?). But here I am again, doing design for a church, this time, instead of a university, but design nonetheless. A job that I am so incredibly grateful to have, a job where I have met amazing people, a job that has connected the hubs and I to an amazing church family. But still, I don't see myself here for years on end.

So I find myself a bit distracted—one minute I'm all researching what it would take to be a home-stager and looking into Interior Design programs, and the next minute I'm making grandiose plans to go to grad school for counseling. And then the next minute everything seems too hard or expensive so I just sit there. I feel like a little bit of a mess.

But I guess it all boils down to the fact that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

And that's OK.

Yeah, I have lots of things I really enjoy, but none of them seem viable for a career. So I sit and I stare at a computer screen for 8 hours a day because that is where God currently has me. I sit there and work to further His kingdom in the way, time, and place that He has me. He's writing my story, and although I wouldn't have imagined me back here, He knew all along. That's why after my 2 years on staff with The Navigators He began to stir my heart again for this thing called Graphic Design, even when I had basically sworn it off 2 years previous [did I mention you have to stare at a screen for 8 hours a day?!]. He began to bring back my desire and drive for this profession. And I know He did it for a reason. If even for the people we've met because of this opportunity.

But you know what else? You know what keeps me going besides the fact that I know that God has me right where He wants me? It's a job. And I think sometimes we (especially my generation) can put too much weight on doing what you L.O.V.E. for your profession. Don't get me wrong—I think that's awesome if you've found your passion and profession in one place. But I don't think it happens all the time to everyone for their whole life. Maybe it takes years of trying out different things. Maybe it requires going back to school. Maybe you find it for a bit but then it slips away for awhile. Maybe it never really happens to you.

But there is still room to be faithful and a hard worker and happy with your work situation, even if it isn't your dream. Even if you said you would never do it and yet there you find yourself. Even if you are searching and dreaming and wondering if there's something out there that would suit you better. Because true joy doesn't come from our day job. True joy comes from full life in Jesus. And we can have full life in Him regardless of our jobs.

We can be faithful and go to work with a good attitude, knowing that we can serve our bosses, love our co-workers, and shine Jesus in our work place. Plus, God is the best networker I know and he can pull strings like a boss. ;) So we don't have to give in to anxiety over what's next, if we're feeling like 'here' isn't forever.

And even if we don't know what we want to be when we grow up, that's OK. Because God is writing our story and HE knows what we're going to be when we grow up. And He has placed us where we are now to be there and shine Him.

P.S. I really liked this quote from a Relevant article on chasing your dreams— "Just like we're being transformed into God's image in steps—from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18)—we don't achieve the dream God's given us all at once." Now if only I could find that dream... but that's for another day I suppose.

Stylin'

Happy Thursday! I'm headed to Wisconsin tomorrow for the weekend for a friend's bachelorette party and wedding... so much excitement! And if everything goes as planned Loverboy will be moving into the apartment on Sunday and I'll be back Monday with a van-full of my stuff from EC.

So needless to say it's feeling pretty weekend-y around here, which I thought called for a little bit of fun- if someone handed me a couple of Benjamin Franklins and said I had to spend it on clothes and accessories, here are a few of the things I'd pick up (a girl can dream, can't she??).

1  //  2  //  3  //  4  //  5

I know that's it's the middle of summer so the socks and scarf don't really make a whole lot of sense, but we live in Minnesota, so you never know! Gotta keep those winter clothes handy! Plus, who can resist that much lovely pattern and texture? 

I'm especially diggin' the bracelets [// 3] that are from The Shine Project, a blog I've been enjoying lately. Purchases of their jewelry and apparel employ first generation college students, which I think is pretty neat. 

So what about you? If you were unexpectedly gifted with some cold hard cash that had to be spent on pretty things, what would you choose?

Coffee Date (Round II)

If we were having coffee, I would totally get an iced chai, duh.

If we were having coffee, I would let you know that life feels like one never-ending adventure right now with all the newness that's going on, but that's ok because I really like it and I have lots of familiar people to travel through these not-so familiar seas with.

If we were having coffee, I'd want to know what fun things you like to do in Minneapolis. I'd ask you your favorite places to eat and shop and walk.

If we were having coffee, I would share about how I've been dreaming a lot about the future lately. The design nerd in me has just been having too much fun dreaming about having our very own apartment. And being that there's a wedding drawing ever closer, I'd say the future has been a pretty wonderful place to have my head.

If we were having coffee, I'd let you know that even though I've been future-dreaming I've also been soaking up every minute of the present. With roomie nights, travel, family, and time with my man I have been savoring the season of life God has placed me in.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that trusting God with an unknown future is hard. But I would also tell you that God is more-than-faithful in the ways and timing that He reveals things. To say that my future is much less unknown now than it was a few months ago is a huge understatement.

If we were having coffee, I would ask you about your pyramid that you want to build. I would listen as you shared your passions and then maybe I could share some of mine.

[image via big girls small kitchen]

Pyramid Builders

Do you believe this? That lots of small things add up to great things? You know, they say that Rome wasn't built in a day. And the pyramids are simply composed of bricks stacked one on top of the other, day after day. Sometimes really great things take time. Time and energy and lots and lots of planning.

I think oftentimes when we have hopes, dreams, or goals, we tend to get overwhelmed. We see what we are reaching for as way higher than we could ever reach. We look at our awesome, unique, totally-us ideas and see the end result- the pyramid. And then we run away. Farrrr, farrr away. Because really, who want to tackle that job??

But what if we began to see our dreams and goals in terms of the bricks that make them up, rather than as the completed pyramid? In terms of the many small things that will be brought together to form the great thing? I believe that when we view our big ideas through the lens of lots of small ideas that will get us there, that's where action takes place.

So how do we do this? How do we build brick by brick? We start day by day. Throw the phrases "someday," "when I get around to it," and "when I have time" out of your vocabulary. Let's be real—someday is always in the future and you're most likely never going to "get around to it" or have more time, if your life is anything like mine.

So think about your pyramid. That great thing. That one [or two or three] idea that is maybe always at the back of your mind. That one thing that makes your heart beat faster just thinking about it. That one hope you have for your future, dream you want to see fulfilled, or goal you can't wait to meet. Now break it down. What are a few [or hundreds] of little things that you can start doing now to work toward that dream? What are the bricks you can begin laying now?

Then start today. Do one small thing today that will eventually be brought together to form that great thing. Yeah, it might be a month from now, or 10 years from now when that great thing is finally formed, but at least you are taking steps now. And when all those small things turn into that great thing, you will have built a pyramid.

Yes, it's going to take work. Yes, it's going to take planning. But it's a whole lot easier to be a pyramid builder when you have those small bricks you can start laying. So go out there and start building your pyramid! Oh, and P.S....

[1. via Kelli Trontel, 2. via Pinterest]