How Being on EDGE is a Lot Like Being in a Relationship

So in case you didn't know, I am currently in FLORIDA headed into my last day of what has been a week-long conference for my job with The Navigators. How blessed I feel to be spending time in a warm and beautiful place with hundreds of others who are doing the same work on campuses all over the nation! It has been an encouraging and challenging week as I've heard speakers, attended workshops, and caught up with friends from Texas, Alabama, Missouri, Illinois, and all over the US!

As we were given some time to reflect on the things we had learned from our year and a half on EDGE Corps so far, I had one burning thought- being on EDGE is a lot like being in a relationship. Let me break it down for you.

My time spent on staff with The Navigators has been incredibly refining.

Whew! If there's one thing I've learned on EDGE it's that I am a sinner and I NEED Jesus. Every. Stinkin'. Day. Doing full-time ministry has exposed my selfishness, my desire for control, and just how much I need God's grace. I have seen both my pride and my insecurities clearer this past year and a half than ever before. I have been more aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings. But I have also seen clearer how much God loves me and wants to take me further than I am right now. 

I have learned that it's not about me.

Like I said- full-time ministry has exposed my selfishness. It has exposed my desire to serve self. To be comfortable and have it easy. But it's not about me. Life isn't about me. It's not about people loving me and serving me and being as comfortable as I can. It's all about loving Jesus, and loving people. If I'm not doing either, then any of the work I do is just a noisy gong. As a follower of Jesus I am called to lay down my life for others, as Jesus did for me. And I think I have realized that calling even more now that I am vocationally doing ministry.

I have been forced to trust and depend on the Lord more than ever in the past.

Again. Jesus. I need Him. Being on EDGE has presented circumstances that have grown my trust in God immensely. [Two words- support. raising.] I have had to depend on Him in a very real way for my livelihood. I have had to rely on His power to make any of the work I do be productive for His Kingdom. I have had to trust that He would work in students' hearts even when things seemed to be at a standstill. I have seen God come through for me in huge ways and my dependence on Him has deepened.

These lessons I've learned while on EDGE seem eerily similar to lessons learned in relationships. Maybe that's just life. Maybe God chooses to refine us and teach us and humble us through the circumstances we find ourselves in. Maybe He uses whatever means He wants to reveal Himself to us. And those means are happy and hard and joy-filled and uncertain and wonderful and messy all at the same time.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Happy winter! Although the first day of winter is still a good month and a half away, I feel justified in this greeting. Yesterday I woke up to a car covered in leaves (that I had to brush off with my ice-scraper) and today I woke up to a nice layer of ice. So it seems that the seasons have changed overnight and we are now in that season that us frozen chosen live for - winter! Construction will be done soon and we're headed into months of indoor activities- such as reading, cuddling, and watching seasons upon seasons of TV shows. So, without further ado, I bring you a few of my favorite things... inspired by the changing of seasons!

Candles. I have been obsessed with candles the last few days! Especially the WoodWick variety. It's a crackling candle. How could you not love that? One of the few pros of the change in weather is that it's perfect for cozying up with a good book by the fireplace (or clump of candles in my case).

White Collar. Ok. This show has always been one of my favorite things. But I just discovered there's a new season playing! And I seriously cannot wait until I have time to (cuddle up by my clump of candles) and watch the new episodes. If you're looking for a quality show, this is it. Humor, thievery, enduring friendship, and loads of white collar crime action.

Mystic Topaz. How cool is this stone? One of my friends has a ring and I fell in love instantly! It's different from every angle you look at it! AND fairly cheap. Win-win.

 

Quillows. A quilt that can fold up into a pillow. Who knew this was a thing?? After looking for a photo on Pinterest I realized that they are apparently usually geared toward kids, but I say pish-posh to that. Best. Invention. Ever. Also, you can stick your feet into the little pocket and your blanket won't slide off you!

Divergent series by Veronica Roth. Just read it. I've only read the first book, but let's just say I devoured that sucker and am so excited to (again) have enough time on my hands to get into the second in the series! (But the real question is... will I go for White Collar or this first??) Plus, Divergent will be coming out in theatres in March so you should probably read it before then so you're not one of those sad people who is a fan of the movies but has never read the book.

Fall Newsletter

I just put out my fall newsletter and thought I would share it on here for those of you who haven't seen it yet! Sorry... I'm a little slow at sending it to all my on-campus friends since I still need to look up new addresses but it should be coming to you soon! :) If you would like to receive my newsletter comment below or shoot me an e-mail or Facebook message. Hope your fall is looking lovely! 

To view it larger you can go here!

All There

Holy Caboose, this is hard! To be "all there." To be fully present and engaged with whoever you are with, wherever you are at. 

No. Matter. What. 

Regardless of how much sleep you got, or how hard you've worked this week, or how fried your brain feels. Because let's be honest, there will most likely always be something that we could use as an excuse to check out, to un-engage. 

But checking out isn't really loving. It's loving on our terms. When we feel energized enough. Or focused enough. Or fill-in-the-blank-here enough.

With that being said, it's also not loving to yourself or others to not have boundaries. Boundaries help us to get enough rest, to have enough margin, and to take care of ourselves. All of which are entirely important for us to be present and engaged. 

So how do we be all there? 

We can start by finding our rest in God. Psalm 62:1 puts it well: "My soul finds rest in God alone." I'm starting to realize that as a believer, I don't get rest the same way the world does. I can nap or watch a movie or just be- which are all fine things- but if I'm not getting rest in the Lord, I can still feel just as frazzled as before. 

In the past month I have heard three separate talks where the speaker references Matthew 11:28-30. THREE talks, guys! I think I should probably pay attention to this. So anywho, Jesus says "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

It's a pretty famous verse about rest. But it's SO good because it comes straight from Jesus' mouth. He invites us to come. He offers rest. Real rest. Not just sit-on-the-couch-and-surf-facebook rest. He wants to teach us. He wants us to find rest for our souls and trade our heavy burdens for His light one.

So that's what I'm embracing today. That's the step I'm taking to become better at being "all there." At living fully alive and present and engaged. To find my rest in God alone. To come to Jesus and to learn what rest for my soul looks like. 

Coffee Date

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I don't actually like coffee so I'm going to get a chai tea latte if that's okay with you?

If we were having coffee, I would let you know that I'm tired, tired, tired but that's because my life is full of wonderful happy things like friends getting married and people wanting to pour into my life and friends wanting to catch up and people who I like to talk to on the phone til all hours of the night.

If we were having coffee, I'd want to know when the last time you just did nothing was. I've recently become convinced that doing nothing is good for your soul and should happen on a regular basis.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I don't know what's next in life, and as scary as that is, it's also really exciting to think of the possibilities.

If we were having coffee, I'd let you know that even though it's hard, that exploring, growing, "going there" with your emotions and feelings, and really digging into the Word is all worth it for your relationship with Jesus to flourish.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I picked up my guitar for the first time in months yesterday. It was all dusty and out-of-tune, but my fingers hurt today and that's always a good sign.

If we were having coffee, I would ask you how your intimacy with Christ is. Because I would want you to ask me the same and because life really is better in community with people who are willing to go there.

Idea from Aslan's Auspicious Albany Adventure

Thrive

Image here.

When we believe lies and live our lives in a way that we see them as truth, our souls whither. Our hearts become parched as they thirst for something real. Something beautiful. Something that fills us with hope rather than dread.

Truth is like a summer rain on dry barren land. It causes our hearts, our souls to flourish. When we are living in the truth we can begin to thrive.

Here is truth:

+ Nothing you do (or don't do) could EVER make God love you more or less than he does in this moment.
+ God's love for you is not dependent on any circumstances or anything you think, do, feel, or say.
+ God delights in you and loves to give you good gifts... but He doesn't have to (see next point).
+ Anything and everything from God is pure grace- something that we get for free without deserving it one bit. We are human sinners. He is God. Yet He chose to pay the highest price for us (Jesus), and chooses to continue in deep relationship with us. Grace.
+ God, like a loving Father wants your obedience to Him to flow out of your love for Him, not out of a pressure and fear-filled expectation or duty.
+ Jesus loves you, this I know. In my heart, my bones, my soul.


So please, dear friends, go out there and...

Demand Nothing

I've been reading a book by Dr. Larry Crabb entitled "Inside Out." Like most books I start, it has been a slow process as I read a chapter or two, get sidetracked by another book, come back for another chapter or two, and inevitably start the whole cycle over again. So needless to say this one's been by my bed for the last year. But it is SO GOOD. 

I just finished the chapter entitled "The Problem of Demandingness." Oof. This was heavy stuff, ya'll! I really wanted to blog about it because it was SO GOOD, and so I was going to process through it all and share my thoughts, but in reality I might never get all this processed. And Larry knows what he's talking about. So below I've shared some of the hard-hitting ideas from the chapter in an order that seems to mostly make sense if you read it all through like there aren't paragraphs and pages between each thought. :) 

So all that follows is written by Dr. Larry Crabb (for copyright reasons or whatever... I'd hate for him to stop by the blog and then try and sue me). Cute lil graphic by yours truly. Feel free to steal it. 

"Problems may fuel a demanding spirit but never justify it.

To insist on something, we must first persuade ourself that what we're after is deserved and legitimate, that we have a solid basis for our demands. And nothing persuades us more completely that our weary soul deserves a break than continued heartache.

We tend to measure someone's love by their degree of cooperation with our plans. God's refusal to help us pursue our goals [of happiness or relief] and His insistence that we yield our plans to His makes Him seem unconcerned about our happiness.

We are so deeply committed to our own well-being that anyone who blocks our path to the joy we desire becomes the object of our wrath while we suffer with noble grief.

Perhaps the first step in learning humility is to consider who it is we think must change. A demand that things be different represents an accusation against God, a charge that He's guilty of mismanagement and negligence in His duties.

Suffering can be intense, but no level of suffering justifies us in deciding how we should be treated. Nor can pain be so severe that sinful strategies for finding relief become acceptable.

The necessary foundation for any relationship with God is a recognition that God is God and we are not. We therefore have no business demanding anything of anyone, no matter how fervently our soul longs for relief from pain.

It's one thing to petition with urgency and passion, to weep in anguish, and to plead for relief. It's quite another to demand that the will of the Almighty be one with our own.

The beginning of maturity is an estimate of oneself that makes demandingness unthinkable. And that estimate develops when we confront the reality of who God is and who we are.

Desire much, pray for much, but demand nothing. To trust God means to demand nothing."